Hello, I just want to say that it's a great idea to promote self-acceptance, not just to grrrls, but to everyone out there. I do not know if the poem I'm submitting is what you're looking for, but it does tell of my personal battle with anorexia. I hope it opens some eyes and discourages anyone else from falling into the trap as well. Best wishes, Jennifer Z.   Why that summer? What had happened? How did I fall? When did I die? My life was so crazy My body so weak My mind was so poisoned A secret so deep I had to look like her Lost my appetite I hid in my number I cried late at night I silently wondered Is this still too thick? The number got smaller My body got sick My parents were freaking Suspicion arose Had to hide my secret I'd act healthy and pose Soon I realized In my twisted mind They were trying to make me fat! The whole world wanted to try! But I couldn't let them I'd cry out a phrase That most anorexics have said in their days "I'd rather die than be fat! I have to be thin!" A race for death, and I wanted to win But now I look and realize How brainwashed I was And all the harm to my body I caused And I understand how easy it is to get into But all too hard to get out of I still worry that I'll fall back again Be phobic of fat Ana as my friend This is all so hard Like I'm living a lie Part of me is gone Ana caused it to die.

PENITENTIAL RITE

I confess ta almighty God, an' ta ya, muh ma fuckin brothers an' sisters,
dat I gots sinned through muh ma fuckin own fault in muh ma fuckin thoughts an' in muh ma fuckin werdz,
in what I gots done, an' in what I gots failed ta do;
an' I ax blessed Mary, ever virgin, all da angels an' saints,
an' ya, muh ma fuckin brothers an' sisters, ta pray fo' me ta da Toons our God.

 

THE RITE OF MARRIAGE

P. Now, as ya iz about ta exchange yo' marriage vows da Church wishes ta be assured dat ya appreciate da meaning o' what ya do, an' so I ax you:
Have ya come here o' yo' own free will an' choice ta marry each other ?

Both: We gots.

P Will ya love an' honour each other in marriage all da days o' yo' life ?

Both: We will.

P Are ya willing ta accept wiff love da chil'ns God may send ya, an' bring dem up in accordance wiff da law o' Christ, an' his Church ?

Both: We iz.

DECLARATION OF CONSENT

The priest then invites da couple ta declare they consent.
He may use any o' da four forms given below:

first form

P I invite ya then ta declare 'bfoe God an' his Church yo' consent ta become husband an' wife.

Bridegroom: N., do ya consent ta be muh ma fuckin wife?
Bride: I do.

Bride: Do ya, N., consent ta be muh ma fuckin husband ?
Bridegroom: I do

Bridegroom: I take ya as muh ma fuckin wife an' I give myself ta ya as yo' husband

Bride: I take ya as muh ma fuckin husband an' I give myself ta ya as yo' wife

They then join hands an' say together:

ta love each other truly fo' bettah, fo' worse,
fo' richer, fo' poorer, in sickness an' in health,
till death do us part. (or all da days o' our life.)

When da bride an' bridegroom gots given they consent da priest says:

P What God joins together nig mus' not separate. May da Lord confirm da consent dat ya gots given an' enrich ya wiff his blessings.

C. Amen

FINAL BLESSING & DISMISSAL

P May almighty God bless ya, da Father, an' da Son, an' da Holy Spirit.
C Amen.

P The Mass iz ended, jet in peace.
or Go in da peace o' Christ.
or Go in peace ta love an' serve da Lord.
C Thanks be ta God.

what 'chew thinking man?

posted by Daniel Nester at 11/26/2003 10:25:24 AM

Tuesday, November 25, 2003
Brendan Lorber tells me what it's like
Ummmm.

DN's mom here, filling in for Brendan.

I can't really tell "what it's like."

Because I forgot to bring my magnifiying glass.

But I remember when I used to change Dan.

It was silky.

And sang to me.

A haunting song.

It went a little something like this:

"Wee are the champions.

"Wee are the champions."

He was a fussy baby.

-30-

Today when i woke up, i found out that my neighbour two floors down was practising his rights to listen to whatever he wants. I think that right must have been written down somewhere in the constitution or something. Moments later, my sister, too, got up to exercise her rights to speak. Not bothering to check her breath in the morning, she got up, went two floors down, and (i think) scared the hell out of the neighbour with her bad breath. (Listerine was not one of her priorities, i'm told.) Now there is nothing wrong with practising your rights. I mean, playing techno music may be classified as a crime in this stifling world of hip-hop spewing crude language and something about 'bling-bling', but then again, you must appreciate my neighbour's eclectic taste. But the issue here isn't about him playing horrid-thou-shalt-not-play-techno music that only goes bom-bom-bom-bom in the next few verses or so in the entire song, but the fact that he woke my sister up with techno at 8.30 am. Now waking up to techno, i hear, can cause mayhem to your nervous system, but waking up at 8.30 am, i hear, is supposed to be the scariest thing that can ever happen to you. I mean, 8.30 am on a Sunday morning! My dear sister could not possbly bear the glaring sunlight that streaked across the room so early in the morning and risk her fair complexion can she? Or, risk having those nasty eye-bags benaeath the eyes that make you look like someone in your fifties? That is scary, come to think of it. So let me get this straight, waking up at 8.30am in the morning is unspeakable and unheard of in today's society where experts say that young people are becoming more stressed and getting less sleep? Maybe it's just a phenomenon, or maybe, it's just techno.

 

to think there is so much going on

 

"...It's not a matter of whether the war is not real, or if it is, Victory is not possible. The war is not meant to be won, it is meant to be continuous. Hierarchical society is only possible on the basis of poverty and ignorance. This new version is the past and no different past can ever have existed. In principle the war effort is always planned to keep society on the brink of starvation. The war is waged by the ruling group against its own subjects and its object is not the victory over either Eurasia or East Asia but to keep the very structure of society intact..."

~Fahrenheit 9/11

(Fahrenheit 9/11-Director Michael Moore
is questioned by the secret service when he
films the Saudi embassy...hmmm....)

After the whole world has seen it, the much-hyped movie has finally arrived on the shores of spore. may i stress on finally? Although less humorous than his previous masterpiece "Bowling for Columbine", Moore has undoubtly produced another tour de force set to influence the perspectives of the people. Praised and lambasted by critics alike, this movie is none other than provocative and entertaining. Nonetheless, would have been better if Moore explored international opinions about the Iraq war to get a clearer picture of how people around the world perceive the situation. Overall, it's a movie worthy of its Best Picture Award. Catch it.

 

 

 

on a less serious side of things, just caught the "Dark of the Matinee" video by great scottish band Franz Ferdinand. allow me to say this: Awesooommmmeee...............

I was very young. He was very famous.
Our meeting was something out of a movie: I had been to a concert of his and as I was leaving the Civic Center (quite some time after the concert ended, as I recall), I spotted him standing on the sidewalk downtown.

He was lost and abandoned.

I'm not sure when I first realized it was happening, but we became very close. Eventually, he would call my house, and when I wasn't there he would talk to my mother for hours.

Of course, I adored him. Just imagine.

Certainly, it was very exciting, meeting after concerts and staying in nice hotels and having breakfast with him the next morning. He always treated me very well. The whole band treated me well, in fact. None of the horror stories you hear about rock stars going nuts and tearing up rooms. He didn't drink or do drugs, which helped enormously.

One year, I surprised him by driving to Atlanta, and worked my way right up to the front of the stage while he was singing. When he spotted me, he suddenly forgot his lyrics and cracked up laughing.

I remember that vividly, for some reason.

I was always very low key about it, figuring no one would believe me if I told them anyway, and feeling like I had a wonderful secret. I wouldn't even let anyone take a picture of us together.

Once, though, when I was working in a restaurant, I brought him in and we sat down at the bar to have dinner. Funny -- people's reactions on that one.

I became very popular suddenly, which is just the type of false crap I was trying to avoid.

I can hardly think of all the years that have passed since then. It's a nice memory.

It's funny to me that I don't own any of his music anymore...

 

Working on the last of the God Save My Queen II entries up, and keeping the energy going isn't a problem, but wrestling with others.

I want to have a couple throughlines for this one. GSMQ I was non-linear, if nothing else but because I was doing something new, but also because the memory was reconstructed -- I wasn't around to buy 1974's Queen II off the shelves, for instance, so my memory-notes are from c. 1981, and refracted back through, or as I like to say, reconstructed.

The second book, however, is all in real time. Freddie died when I just got out of college. The first and most vital wave of solo albums can out when I was a sophomore in high school. So we're talking about a decade-plus of record buying and music and poetic experience, as opposed to me at at 13-14. There's a lot of emotion to make tranquil, and it's actually harder work.

Plus, we're talking about Freddie dying. So much sadness -- as one friend of Fred's put it, "Never had so much dying happened in one garden." It's a vision many gay men have of 1979, that time just before the epidemic comes -- it happens on the Hudson piers, places like that. Many men speak of a vision, of all these men here, happy one second, and corpses the next.

So this manuscript is hard to let go and hand in before I get that idea across, that duty, as well as my own suburban teenage BS.